You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
