I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
