idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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