I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
