He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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