Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
