It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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