I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
