I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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