Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
