How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
