We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
how drunk are you?
Several
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
