I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
