talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
soo... how was my night?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
