Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Im part way to drunk.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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