Will you blow on my dice?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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