party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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