Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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