Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize