But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
