so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
