my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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