think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
