There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
