put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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