Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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