..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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