I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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