I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
