At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
