I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
