New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
