Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My cat gives me a boner
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
