I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
