she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
