I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
