i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
