This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
