How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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