He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
