It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Randomize
