Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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