His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
