Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
