You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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