You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
