Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
