My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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