we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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