Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
false alarm, still single
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
