to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We're too hungover to prance.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
