I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
