we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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