Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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