im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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