It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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