We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
