He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
