names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
