ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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