hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
