I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
