I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
whose parrot is this?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
