I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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