It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
