He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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