conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
