so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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